Previous Quotes of the Day, chosen by Sharcu at Find Quotations

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Albert Einstein Best?
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
Steven Wright Best?
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Robert Benchley Best?
My Karma ran over your dogma.
Unknown Best?
Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?'
Steven Wright Best?
Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
Woody Allen Best?
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
Woody Allen Best?
California is a fine place to live--if you happen to be an orange.
Fred Allen Best?
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
Woody Allen Best?
The only thing that's been a worse flop than the organization of non-violence has been the organization of violence.
Joan Baez Best?
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.
James Branch Cabell Best?
I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Franklin D. Roosevelt Best?
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it.
Clarence Darrow Best?
I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
Charles De Gaulle Best?
The case has, in some respects, been not entirely devoid of interest.
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle Best?
People can have the Model T in any colour--so long as it's black.
Henry Ford Best?
What if this weren't a hypothetical question?
Unknown Best?
It is always the best policy to speak the truth--unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.
Jerome K. Jerome Best?
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
Henry Kissinger Best?
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Groucho Marx Best?
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Groucho Marx Best?
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
H. L. Mencken Best?
All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.
George Orwell Best?
The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it.
George Orwell Best?
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.
Will Rogers Best?
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
Will Rogers Best?
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt Best?
The young have aspirations that never come to pass, the old have reminiscences of what never happened.
Saki Best?
For every person who wants to teach there are approximately thirty people who don't want to learn--much.
W. C. Sellar and R. J. Yeatman Best?
A diplomat... is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Caskie Stinnett Best?
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
Mark Twain Best?
Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.
Billy Wilder Best?
Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read.
Frank Zappa Best?
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
Mark Twain Best?
A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
H. L. Mencken Best?
A motion to adjourn is always in order.
Robert A. Heinlein Best?
A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
Joseph Stalin Best?
Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
Ambrose Bierce Best?
All generalizations are dangerous, even this one.
Alexandre Dumas Best?
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
Unknown Best?
And that's the world in a nutshell, an appropriate receptacle.
Stan Dunn Best?
Antonym, n.: The opposite of the word you're trying to think of.
Unknown Best?
Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things.
Unknown Best?
Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
Albert Einstein Best?
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
James Magary Best?
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
Edgar Bergen Best?
I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.
Jules Renard Best?
I don't necessarily agree with everything I say.
Marshall McLuhan Best?
I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.
Samuel Goldwyn Best?
I enjoy being a highly overpaid actor.
Roger Moore Best?
I felt like poisoning a monk.
Umberto Eco Best?
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
Albert Einstein Best?
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Abraham Lincoln Best?
Is there life before death?
Graffito Best?
It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
Harry S. Truman Best?
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
Mark Twain Best?
It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day-to-day basis.
Margaret Bonnano Best?
It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.
Mick Jagger Best?
It's not true that life is one damn thing after another; it is one damn thing over and over.
Edna St. Vincent Millay Best?
Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
Mark Twain Best?
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
Mae West Best?
Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.
David Letterman Best?
Space isn't remote at all. It's only an hour's drive away if your car could go straight upwards.
Fred Hoyle Best?
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
Woody Allen Best?
The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
Robert R. Coveyou Best?
The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Best?
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Lucille Ball Best?
There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.
Charles M. Schulz Best?
Too much of a good thing is wonderful.
Mae West Best?
War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military.
Georges Clemenceau Best?
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
Timothy Leary Best?
We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world.
Dan Quayle Best?
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
Dan Quayle Best?
We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.
Dan Quayle Best?
Now is the time for all good men to come to.
Walt Kelly Best?
Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.
Russell Baker Best?
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
John Lennon Best?
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Bill Cosby Best?
Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.
Robert Byrne Best?
Nothing is said that has not been said before.
Terence, Roman Dramatist Best?
I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.
Elayne Boosler Best?
I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
Cicero Best?
Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care.
William Safire Best?
It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.
Dick Cavett Best?
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it.
Moses Hadas Best?
Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.
Ralph Waldo Emerson Best?
By the time we've made it, we've had it.
Malcolm Forbes Best?
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Woody Allen Best?
Of all noises, I think music is the least disagreeable.
Samuel Johnson Best?
I do not take a single newspaper, nor read one a month, and I feel myself infinitely the happier for it.
Thomas Jefferson Best?
A cucumber should be well-sliced, dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out.
Samuel Johnson Best?
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
Jeff Valdez Best?
I was born not knowing and have had only a little time to change that here and there.
Richard Feynman Best?
If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
Albert Einstein Best?
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
Woody Allen Best?
An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.
Will Rogers Best?
It's the opinion of some that crops could be grown on the moon. Which raises the fear that it may not be long before we're paying somebody not to.
Franklin P. Jones Best?
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
Woody Allen Best?
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
Douglas Adams Best?
Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
Douglas Adams Best?
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Douglas Adams Best?
It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
Alfred Alder Best?
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
Aesop Best?
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
Noelie Altito Best?
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.
Isaac Asimov Best?
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
Dave Barry Best?
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
Bradley's Bromide Best?
And remember, no matter where you go, there you are. (from the film, Buckaroo Banzai)
Unknown Best?
You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.
Al Capone Best?
I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.
George Carlin Best?
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Benjamin Franklin Best?
Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives.
Maurice Chevalier Best?
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Robert X. Cringely Best?
A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.
Baltasar Gracian Best?
Only fools are positive.
Moe Howard Best?
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Franklin P. Jones Best?
Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.
Doug Larson Best?
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
Doug Larson Best?
'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
Abraham Lincoln Best?
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx Best?
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
W. Somerset Maugham Best?
Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.
Frederich Nietzsche Best?
There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home.
Andrew S. Tanenbaum Best?
The computing field is always in need of new cliches.
Alan Perlis Best?
In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain.
Pliny the Elder Best?
I hate life, I hate death and everything in between just doesn't interest me.
Chris Rapier Best?
Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
Muriel Strode Best?
Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit. Someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself.
Peter da Silva Best?
I can't complain, but sometimes I still do.
Joe Walsh Best?
Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.
Muriel Strode Best?
I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Jerome K. Jerome Best?
No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.
Lily Tomlin Best?
People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.
Russell Baker Best?
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
Mark Russell Best?
Advertisements... contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
Thomas Jefferson Best?
Biography lends to death a new terror.
Muriel Strode Best?
I dote on his very absence.
William Shakespeare Best?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but hasn't the fine line between sanity and madness gotten finer?
George Price Best?
Honesty is the best image.
Tom Wilson Best?
The average person thinks he isn't.
Father Larry Lorenzoni Best?
Don't accept rides from strange men, and remember that all men are strange.
Robin Morgan Best?
There must be more to life than having everything.
Maurice Sendak Best?
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
e. e. cummings Best?
The best way to keep one's word is not to give it.
Napoleon Bonaparte Best?
It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.
Jackie Mason Best?
Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.
Ann Landers Best?
I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.
Richard Diran Best?
Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times.
Rita Rudner Best?
My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.
Rita Rudner Best?
I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the last one left.
George Burns Best?
See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
Will Rogers Best?
Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right.
Arthur Schopenhauer Best?
The intermediate stage between socialism and capitalism is alcoholism.
Norman Brenner Best?
The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid.
Art Spander Best?
You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
Indira Gandhi Best?
An author is a fool who, not content with boring those he lives with, insists on boring future generations.
Charles de Montesquieu Best?
The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.
Lily Tomlin Best?
Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.
Leo Tolstoy Best?
If one sticks too rigidly to one's principles, one would hardly see anybody.
Agatha Christie Best?
Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.
F. M. Hubbard Best?
Research is the process of going up alleys to see if they are blind.
Marston Bates Best?
I can't understand it. I can't even understand the people who can understand it.
Queen Juliana Best?
They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea.
Sir Francis Bacon Best?
For the skeptic there remains only one consolation: if there should be such a thing as superhuman law it is administered with subhuman inefficiency.
Eric Ambler Best?
Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.
George Bernard Shaw Best?
Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
Milton Friedman Best?
Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
P. J. O'Rourke Best?
Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
Will Rogers Best?
Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.
Benjamin Franklin Best?
With Epcot Center the Disney corporation has accomplished something I didn't think possible in today's world. They have created a land of make-believe that's worse than regular life.
P. J. O'Rourke Best?
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
Mark Twain Best?
What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease.
George Dennison Prentice Best?
It is a curious thing... that every creed promises a paradise which will be absolutely uninhabitable for anyone of civilized taste.
Evelyn Waugh Best?
I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.
John Cage Best?
You can be a rank insider as well as a rank outsider.
Muriel Strode Best?
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain Best?
We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years.
Nick Faldo Best?
A nation is a society united by delusions about its ancestry and by common hatred of its neighbors.
William Ralph Inge Best?
Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks.
Eric Sevareid Best?
Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock.
Ben Hecht Best?
If a thing isn't worth saying, you sing it.
Pierre Beaumarchais Best?
You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
Art Buchwald Best?
For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three.
Alice Kahn Best?
Anyone who works is a fool. I don't work - I merely inflict myself upon the public.
Robert Morley Best?
Hell, there are no rules here-- we're trying to accomplish something.
Thomas A. Edison Best?
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Voltaire Best?
Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.
Evelyn Waugh Best?
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
Krishnamurti Best?
Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
Muriel Strode Best?
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Albert Einstein Best?
The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.
H. L. Mencken Best?
The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.
Scott Adams Best?
Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
Niels Bohr Best?
Water is the most neglected nutrient in your diet but one of the most vital.
Kelly Barton Best?
Food is the most primitive form of comfort.
Sheila Graham Best?
The body is a sacred garment.
Martha Graham Best?
The crowd gives the leader new strength.
Evenius Best?
I'm glad I don't have to explain to a man from Mars why each day I set fire to dozens of little pieces of paper, and then put them in my mouth.
Mignon McLaughlin Best?
The cruelest lies are often told in silence.
Robert Louis Stevenson Best?
Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better. Silence is deep as Eternity; speech is shallow as Time.
Thomas Carlyle Best?
In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in an clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth.
Mahatma Gandhi Best?
Silence is one of the great arts of conversation, as allowed by Cicero himself, who says, 'there is not only an art, but an eloquence in it.' A well bred woman may easily and effectually promote the most useful and elegant conversation without speaking a word. The modes of speech are scarcely more variable than the modes of silence.
Tom Blair Best?
I think the first virtue is to restrain the tongue; he approaches nearest to gods who knows how to be silent, even though he is in the right.
Cato Best?
It is not wealth one asks for, but just enough to preserve one's dignity, to work unhampered, to be generous, frank and independent.
W. Somerset Maugham Best?
When things are at their worst I find something always happens.
W. Somerset Maugham Best?
There's always one who loves and one who lets himself be loved.
W. Somerset Maugham Best?
Arranging a bowl of flowers in the morning can give a sense of quiet in a crowded day - like writing a poem, or saying a prayer.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh Best?
I always wanted to be somebody. If I made it, it's half because I was game enough to take a lot of punishment along the way and half because there were a lot of people who cared enough to help me.
Althea Gibson Best?
Consult your friend on all things, especially on those which respect yourself. His counsel may then be useful where your own self-love might impair your judgment.
Seneca Best?
Appetite, with an opinion of attaining, is called hope; the same, without such opinion, despair.
Thomas Hobbes Best?
What may be done at any time will be done at no time.
Scottish Proverb Best?
My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary.
Martin Luther Best?
To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization.
Arnold Toynbee Best?
That is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you've understood all your life, but in a new way.
Doris Lessing Best?
This is my answer to the gap between ideas and action - I will write it out.
Hortense Calisher Best?
I really do believe I can accomplish a great deal with a big grin, I know some people find that disconcerting, but that doesn't matter.
Beverly Sills Best?
Of course there is no formula for success except perhaps an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings.
Arthur Rubinstein Best?
To will is to select a goal, determine a course of action that will bring one to that goal, and then hold to that action till the goal is reached. The key is action.
Michael Hanson Best?
To establish oneself in the world, one has to do all one can to appear established.
François de la Rochefoucauld Best?
One must know oneself, if this does not serve to discover truth, it at least serves as a rule of life and there is nothing better.
Blaise Pascal Best?
Walking is man's best medicine.
Hippocrates Best?
It is wonderful how quickly you get used to things, even the most astonishing.
Edith Nesbitt Best?
When you are not physically starving, you have the luxury to realize psychic and emotional starvation.
Cherrie Moraga Best?
The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice.
Georges Eliot Best?
Vegetarianism is harmless enough, though it is apt to fill a man with wind and self-righteousness.
Sir Robert Hutchinson Best?
Sorrow was like the wind. It came in gusts.
Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings Best?
If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you're right.
Mary Kay Ash Best?
She wanted something to happen - something, anything: she did not know what.
Kate Chopin Best?
Man is the only animal whose desires increase as they are fed; the only animal that is never satisfied.
Henry George Best?
We cannot swing up on a rope that is attached only to our own belt.
William Ernest Hocking Best?
A compliment is a gift, not to be thrown away carelessly, unless you want to hurt the giver.
Eleanor Hamilton Best?
Curious things, habits. People themselves never knew they had them.
Agatha Christie Best?
There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.
Willa Cather Best?
Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides.
Rita Mae Brown Best?
Fear not those who argue but those who dodge.
Marie Ebner von Eschenbach Best?
It is bitter to lose a friend to evil, before one loses him to death.
Mary Renault Best?
You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.
Colette Best?
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
Fran Leibowitz Best?
Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling into at night. I miss you like hell.
Edna St. Vincent Millay Best?
I don't like the sound of all those lists he's making - it's like taking too many notes at school; you feel you've achieved something when you haven't.
Dodie Smith Best?
What you will do matters. All you need is to do it.
Judy Grahn Best?
You ask me why I do not write something....I think one's feelings waste themselves in words, they ought all to be distilled into actions and into actions which bring results.
Florence Nightingale Best?
Nobody is ever met at the airport when beginning a new adventure. It's just not done.
Elizabeth Warnock Fernea Best?
It is very difficult to live among people you love and hold back from offering them advice.
Anne Tyler Best?
What is most beautiful in virile men is something feminine; what is most beautiful in feminine women is something masculine.
Susan Sontag Best?
Anxiety is love's greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic.
Anais Nin Best?
I can't think of any sorrow in the world that a hot bath wouldn't help, just a little bit.
Susan Glasee Best?
I ran the wrong kind of business, but I did it with integrity.
Sydney Biddle Barrows Best?
You can't separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom.
Malcolm X Best?
While you are not able to serve men, how can you serve spirits [of the dead]?...While you do not know life, how can you know about death?
Confucious Best?
As men, we are all equal in the presence of death.
Publilius Syrus Best?
Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival.
W. Edwards Deming Best?
To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
Karen Sunde Best?
When you have loved as she has loved, you grow old beautifully.
W. Somerset Maugham Best?
Where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon. Where there is doubt, faith.
Saint Francis of Assisi Best?
It is hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head.
Sally Kempton Best?
Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed.
Michael Pritchard Best?
When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.
John Ruskin Best?
One doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
Andre Gide Best?
The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can't