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Quotes by Doug Larson

1 - 14 of 14
  • The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
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  • The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.
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  • If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.
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  • Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enought to know they were impossible.
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  • A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
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  • If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
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  • If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
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  • Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
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  • Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
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  • Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.
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  • What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living.
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  • The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice.
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  • The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
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  • Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.
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1 - 14 of 14