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Quotes by Mark Twain

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  • Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
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  • Sacred cows make the best hamburgers.
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  • Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.
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  • Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
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  • The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.
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  • Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
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  • Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
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  • Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.
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  • Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do then by the ones you did. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
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  • The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
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  • The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.
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  • The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
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  • All say, "How hard it is that we have to die"--a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live.
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  • The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.
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  • It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the other to bring the news to you.
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  • The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong; he can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.
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  • Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.
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  • The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
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  • You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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  • Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
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  • Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principle one was that they escaped teething.
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  • George Washington as a boy was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth - he could not even lie.
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  • Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.
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  • Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
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  • Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.
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