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Quotes by Quentin Crisp

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  • Fashion is for people who don't know who they are.
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  • Treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
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  • When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, "Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
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  • The continued propinquity of another human being cramps the style after a time unless that person is somebody you think you love. Then the burden becomes intolerable at once.
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  • One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend.
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  • The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.
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  • Even holligans marry, though they know that marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever.
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  • Decency...must be an even more exhausting state to maintain than its opposite. Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep.
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  • Nothing in our culture, not even home computers, is more overrated than the epidermal felicity of two featherless bipeds in desperate congress.
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  • The English think incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.
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  • To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody.
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  • For flavor, instant sex will never supercede the stuff you have to peel and cook.
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  • Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation to which the filing system has been lost?
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  • The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.
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  • Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors.
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  • If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
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  • Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
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