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It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.Best?
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A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.Best?
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Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.Best?
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Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.Best?
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I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle.Best?
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The pencil sharpener is about as far as I have ever got in operating a complicated piece of machinery with any success.Best?
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Tell us your phobias, and we will tell you what you are afraid of.Best?
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I can't seem to bring myself to say, "Well, I guess I'll be toddling along." It isn't that I can't toddle. It's that I can't guess I'll toddle.Best?
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Streets full of water; please advise.Best?
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The most common of all antagonisms arises from a man's taking a seat beside you on the train, a seat to which he is completely entitled.Best?
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The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.Best?
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An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.Best?
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Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.Best?
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Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.Best?
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There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.Best?
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As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.Best?
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