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It is pleasing to God whenever you rejoice or laugh from the bottom of your heart.
Martin Luther
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You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh - it's as simple as that.
Jay Leno
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Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.
Dame Edna Everage
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Wear a smile and have friends,
Georges Eliot
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We shall find no fiend in hell can match the fury of a disappointed woman,—scorned, slighted, dismissed without a parting pang.
Colley Cibber
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Skiing consists of wearing $3,000 worth of clothes and equipment and driving 200 miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and drink.
P. J. O'Rourke
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.
Fran Leibowitz
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I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
Fran Leibowitz
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The dance is a poem of which each movement is a word.
Mata Hari
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At any rate, I am convinced that He [God] does not play dice.
Albert Einstein
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Let the punishment match the offense.
Cicero
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We are the hero of our own story.
Mary McCarthy
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Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen.
P. J. O'Rourke
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[George Bush] has raised taxes on the people driving pickup trucks and lowered taxes on the people riding in limousines. We can do better.
Bill Clinton
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Being a woman is of special interest to aspiring male transexuals. To actual women it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
Fran Leibowitz
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He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hope for the human condition is a fool.
Soren Kierkegaard
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When in doubt, duck.
Malcolm Forbes
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When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when a tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity.
George Bernard Shaw
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Perhaps I know best why it is man alone who laughs; he alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter.
Frederich Nietzsche
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A cap of good acid costs five dollars and for that you can hear the Universal Symphony with God singing solo and the Holy Ghost on drums.
Hunter S. Thompson
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While hunting in Africa, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How an elephant got into my pajamas I'll never know.
Groucho Marx
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REQUIEM, n. A mass for the dead which the minor poets assure us the winds sing o'er the graves of their favorites. Sometimes, by way of providing a varied entertainment, they sing a dirge.
Ambrose Bierce
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PIG, n. An animal (_Porcus omnivorus_) closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.
Ambrose Bierce
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I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.
Kurt Vonnegut
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A tart temper never mellows with age; and a sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.
Washington Irving
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The action of men are the best interpreters of their thoughts.
John Locke
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And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.
Kahlil Gibran
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Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves for we shall never cease to be amused.
Unknown
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The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the scythe.
Old Russian saying
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And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.
Jerry Chin
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Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance.
Unknown
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Always behave like a duck - keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath.
Jacob Braude
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The only reason we're 7-0 is because we've won all seven of our games.
David Garcia
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Someday they're gonna write a blues song just for fighters. It'll be for slow guitar, soft trumpet, and a bell.
Sonny Liston
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It's easier to win a chess game in five minutes than it is to talk about Russia's problems in 15 minutes
Garry Kasparov
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My prerogative right now is to just chill and let all the other overexposed blondes on the cover of Us Weekly (magazine) be your entertainment.
Britney Spears
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It hurts to find out that what you wanted doesn't match what you dreamed it would be.
Randy K. Milholland
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If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.
George Bernard Shaw
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You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or play.
Warren Beatty
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Sports serve society by providing vivid examples of excellence.
George F. Will
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